Well today I took a day off work and had a busman’s holiday working on a ‘puter all day.
Last night I opted not to change the patch before bed, I was a bit nightly before bed but I thought in sleep it wouldn’t matter so I opted out.
A bit worrying all day today as I was a bit edgy on on everyone’s case. So that wasn’t good good especially as a stressful weekend with Anna lies ahead. Even a short phone call with Anna and we were arguing – well bickering anyway, not good at all.
Throat feels a bit weird today, a bit dry, a bit smoky and it feels a bit lumpy, not good but that’s me just being a teeny but hysterical. Y’know I’ve never been worried about my smoking aided lack of mortality, but ip just get the feeling I’ve been pushing my good luck lately and I might have just smoked one too many. Teeny bit hysterical…. honest I’m barely bothered but it is there in the back of my mind and my throat does feel a bit funny.
Tomorrow I’m thinking of starting running again. This is the next step, this isn’t just a nooo more smokies site I’m hoping to do a lot of things, smoking is just the first and perhaps most significant step. I’d like to promise super hero fitness but I’m going to do this bit by bit and to conquer smoking will be hard enough without planning my abs regime.
See what the weather and the morning brings, if I do run it’ll have to be early, I’m a good runner but not at this moment. I come across as confident but I can be a bit shy and mix this with my competitive streak and one runner passing me is not a thing I’ll be happy with. So quiet and slow and fellow runner free and I’ll be happy.
Off to bed, still a bit edgy but I’ll have to get to grips with that. Perhaps this time I’ll have that dream I keep expecting.