2 days 19 hours without a cigarette
2 days 19 hours without a cigarette, I can say this with confidence as I use the app, My Last Cigarette to map my progress. I’m also £22.61 richer, I have approximately 5 hours and 26 minutes more life to live and my Carbon Monoxide and Nicotine levels are both at nil.
Well my Carbon Monoxide may be at nil but my nicotine levels aren’t as I’m still using the patches. Patches work for me and one rather remarkable bonus of wearing them, apart from abating cravings and mood swings, are the amazing dreams one gets. Last night I had a rather lengthy one which started with parties or something but ended with me walking through my home town square with a double mattress on my back. I needed somewhere to stash it as it was getting heavy and I ended up deciding to take it to the college where I work. I pitched up with the mattress only to find the college had extended incredibly and the place full of dignitaries about to sit down for a posh meal. Anyway – yeah I know other peoples dreams are boring but I want to get this down – with the help of the caretakers we stashed it in a cupboard up a metal staircase without anyone noticing. I then ventured into the college and the students were doing some sponsored cut-throat razor cuts for charity. Anything as an excuse for a mad haircut and I was there, I quickly realised though that they’d left a sprout of hair on the top of my head and it seemed to be dyed red. I then discovered I had no trousers on and with red sprouty hair I was in the pedestrianized area in the centre of the college and hey wasn’t that the college principal there with his back turned to me. I legged it through the shopping mall in the new extended college with lots of dignitaries staring at me… and then the alarm woke me up… Now I’ve had much much stranger dreams under the influence of the ciggie patch, but this one was my first “no trousers on” dream. I’ve heard that they’re common but this was honestly the first for me, which was strange, very vivid too but not as vivid as some of the dayglo ones I’ve had before.
Anyway I just needed to get that down.
The rest of the day was better than yesterday, but still not good.
My fingers are still stained but not as stained as yesterday.
My mouth feels a bit rancid but no way as bad as yesterday or when I was smoking, my teeth and gums have suffered under smoking for a week and I do believe that my gums have shrunk quite significantly in a short time.
My skin looks bad, I have always been really youthful for my age but I seem to be very lined over the last two years. This could coincide with me starting smoking again back then – in fits and starts it must be said – or it could be sun damage or it could be just me getting older. I did notice today though that I looked a bit more liney than normal.
The main cause of concern today though was just before I was meant to go into a meeting. I suddenly felt a bit ill and my chest started to feel strange. I can’t describe it as feeling tight but that was part of it, it felt like there was a big dull lump in there and it wasn’t good. This linked with indigestion isn’t something that I like, I have experienced it before in the past and it’s always concerning, I doubt it’s a sign of recovery, I think that something is going on in there and it’s not a good thing.
My voice too is still raspy, I had to put Izzi to bed tonight and after reading her three little books I settled down beside her in bed to watch her off to sleep. Izzi has a habit of playing with your earlobes as she nods off but this time she spent a bit of time on my Adam’s Apple which didn’t help at all.
I’m now about to go to bed, I think I’m going to be gargling and polishing my teeth, a good bath and then settle down to read a book before visiting the lands of fantasy with my good old pal the nicotine patch.